Our own nature, and “wiring,” along with other people, events, and situations outside of our direct control, make up a kind of great tide that you can either swim with, or against, in order to make change.
You are probably swimming against the tide when your energy seems drained and the results you're getting seem to stay the same, or within a limited range, over time.
Surrendering attempts to control this tide actually creates the possibilities for the transformation of unwanted beliefs or behavior.
Your ego is threatened by the notion of surrender, and it will fight back with negative self-talk at every chance it gets. Such talk loses it’s power when we notice it and catch it at the time.
Change takes time, and it's important to be patient with yourself, holding yourself to the standard of making progress, rather than expecting perfection.
Assuming you've read the previous sections, then here are a few questions to consider:
- Are their people or situations in your life that leave you worn out in the effort to exert your will?
- As you think about areas in your own leadership where you may be "pushing against the tide," what role is your ego playing in preventing progress?
- When you are negative with yourself, what do you tell yourself? What situations or people trigger your negative self-talk?
- Considering the possibility of letting go of your effort, and “swimming with the tide,” what objections do you have? Are these coming from your head (ego) or your heart?
- What will it take for you to let go of any illusions of control, and make more reasonable assessments about what’s in—and outside of—your control?
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